Flat sorted...what's next?

Okie Kokie, I've found (and more importantly put money down on) a nice little one bed flat within easy walking distance of work...so panic over, or at least that panic is over...now I can panic about all sorts of different things. Not least my probable difficulties in actually affording anything, don't think I'll be going out ever again...not that that would be the end of the world cos it's a pretty decent space.

For your interest (though I doubt you are interested) I've got one of six flats in a refurbished pub. Reasonably sized kitchen/living room decent double bedroom and a small shower room, all up on the first floor. Rather pleasingly the whole shebang is in an L shape round one side of the building so I've got an absolute load of windows...whether I can actually fit the sofa up the stairs is another matter entirely...and one I'm trying not to think about too much

As I suggested last time out I'm not a 100% sure on whether I'm actually going to have internet in the place so blogging is liable to go somewhat out the window for at least a month or two whilst I move in and sort stuff out. I'll still be checking e-mail and so forth from work so i won't be completely out of the loop.

So if you need somewhere to crash in the west country, you know who to call (not the ghostbusters)
Dave

House Hunting

My search for somewhere to live from April onwards continues apace, but I am starting to find the search a little stressful. I have never lived alone, so this is the first time I've viewed apartments knowing that it is my decision that is final. At university my source of income was fairly reasonable (parents, savings and student loan), council tax didn't need to be paid and all other bills were split three ways. I'm earning a reasonable wage now, but still it's difficult to be sure how much I can really afford.

So whenever I view a flat (which I'm doing again later today) I'm having to balance cost against all sorts of other parameters. Do I want to spend a little more for a bigger, nicer place? Or should I hold back so that I can spend a little more on furniture, bills and so on (I'm seriously considering going without a telephone landline and broadband, which may rather affect my blog rate)?

I appreciate that this is not particularly interesting to the average reader, but it is taking up a lot of my thinking time over this last month. Where once I might have been pondering a new post or poem, now I lie awake struggling with the complexities of interior design and just whether I can actually fit my parent's sofa up the stairs in the most recently viewed house.
With a bit of luck things will be sorted out in the next few days and things can return to some sort of normality...

...decisions...decisions

25 things that you may not know about me

1 - Had I been born a girl I would have been named Katherine, after one of the central characters of the Geoffrey Trease book 'Cue for Treason'

2 - I play chess at a reasonably decent level for my local team...I also write their match reports

3 - I am an awful liar

4 - My heroes include Marc Overmars, Groucho Marx and James Stewart

5 - I am interested in things like Tarot and Horoscopes even though I do not believe in astrology, I think they have a placebo like affect that can be beneficial

6 - If I had sons I would like to name them Jo and Dan, that is Johan and Dante

7 - I am incredibly nervous about public speaking or any other kind of performance

8 - Whilst I have an eclectic taste in music that leans predominantly towards indie my favourite music to listen to live is folk

9 - Despite being fairly sarcastic myself, I do not recognise other people's sarcasm very well at all.

10 - I spend hours worrying about the smallest of things, pondering the slightest thing that might have been said. My fear of rejection is immense, rivalled only by my fear of failure. I find it very difficult to accept that anyone actually likes me.

11 - I will do almost anything to avoid an argument about anything personal

12 - I subconsciously rehearse conversations in my head, when I say something witty it is often scripted

13 - Writing this list is incredibly difficult for me, real insight into my inner self is not something that I offer up to anyone, mostly because I'm ashamed of it.

14 - I buy wine almost entirely based upon the name and appearance of the bottle

15 - With a few exceptions I only do things that I find easy or am naturally good at...revision, practice and dedication are alien concepts to me

16 - Luckily I have a very high opinion of my own abilities, allowing me to complete everyday tasks under the illusion that I am doing them in a manner vastly superior to everybody else...seriously I believe myself to be better at shopping than other people.

17 - When I was very young I was sent to my room without dinner for refusing to be the farmer's wife in the game 'The farmer's in his den'

18 - My favourite composer is Bach, my favourite picture is 'The Ambassadors' by Hans Holbein (It's in the National Gallery in London, please take a look next time you are nearby) and my favourite poems are Tennyson's 'Charge of the Light Brigade' and Noakes' 'The Highwayman'

19 - I have only thrown up as a result of alcohol twice, but as an unfortunate side effect of drinking too much snaps in one evening I can no longer eat or drink anything with a peach flavour

20 - I turned vegetarian on a whim and have no particular reason for continuing to be so. Strangely enough I am steadily growing stricter on the matter.

21 - I prefer wearing smart clothes like suits and ties, I think this has something to do with my general preference for order and regulation alongside my complete artistic failings which continue into the world of fashion

22 - Films that I especially enjoy that you might not know include 'Harold & Maude', 'Jean de Florette' (and it's sequel 'Manon des Sources'), 'His Girl Friday', 'The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp' and 'It Happened One Night'. I cannot recommend any of these films too much

23 - I am exceedingly shallow and jealous of other's successes

24 - My dreams include living in New Zealand, sailing around the world and owning a VW camper van

25 - Three of the above are lies

Autumn Sun

The summer had not come, but still was gone
October and finally the clouds parted
A glimpse of what could have been
Just a day to live the wrong season
One day to walk and watch and enjoy

Drove out of town to fight the crowds in the wilderness
Walk the Wiltshire hills
Which roll like the clichéd waves
Escape the crush and embrace the view
Pick a spot to sit and read and dream

Haze in the distance
Not cleared by the breeze which cools
But doesn’t chill
Rustles the pages and stirs the grass
Grown long beneath my feet
Insects on my sleeves, a spider
Starts to spin between thumb and book
But is borne away

Shadows dance with the words as I forsake the view
Subtly changed when I finally gaze again
No longer the same, so I rise
Pause for ice cream
To lick and drip and refresh

Another drive, another view
But the same crowds even in the forest
Delicate colours will be gone in a week
Swept together, reduced to nothing
But now those leaves shine and dance and dazzle

I remember another autumn
The same unique tableau
Not here, but beside the lake
Where the light shimmered and leapt across that mirror
Keep the city, I do not need it
Anything that can be bought is worthless
Who wants to live forever?
Not I

One day I too will shrivel and fall and rot
But it will not matter
Even if I do nothing more
For I was there
That autumnal day in England
When I walked and dreamed and drank and lived
Was it perfect?
No
But close enough

More dangerous than horseriding...

You may have seen things in the news recently about this story.

To summarise, the government finances an independent scientific study into the dangers of Ecstasy. The results that were returned suggest that Ecstasy is not especially dangerous and should be reclassified as class B (down from class A). However the government ignores this recommendation and Ecstasy remains a class A substance. I find this incredibly irritating...

I am not an expert on drugs and this post is only superficially related to Ecstasy. Beyond the usual legal things such as alcohol, nicotine and caffeine I have only really tried marijuana, although I must admit that I do find that particular experience fairly enjoyable. I have friends who experiment or regularly take much stronger drugs, but it has never really appealed.

I digress, as I said before this post is not really about drug use or it's effects. My grievance is this...why is the government spending public money upon scientific enquiries that they evidently have no genuine interest in. If you commission a report where there are two possible outcomes (A and B), but regardless of the results you intend to follow path A anyway, well you might as well skip that step in the middle where you actually examine the evidence.

As for comments regarding the relative dangers of horse riding and ecstasy, well if the figures support the statement then fair enough. People ride horses to enjoy themselves, to feel good. It's a lifestyle choice. Mountaineering isn't illegal, but a very high percentage of people die doing it. I recall reading that in America more children are killed in accidents with swimming pools than accidents with guns.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are dangers in many things, you could argue for a long time regarding that. What you cannot debate is that if you commission a report then completely ignore it you start to look a little bit of an idiot.

Till next week, may you trust the evidence
D

Kiss

The flames danced, and there you were
Coiled around your man
Under the clouded sky
No moon tonight
Just them and us
And leaping tongues
Licking and merging before our eyes

Pass round a bottle to quench the thirst,
But not the fire
From nowhere a guitar and you sing
I listen
Years since we were all together
And years till we shall return

Rise to wander beneath the trees
Swaying branches
And whispers in the dark
Does he miss you,
Your man beside the fire?
I do not miss him

Alone, just you and I
And a snatch of a refrain
A lilting melody as we edge closer
The fire burns brighter
One taste, no more
But one is plenty

Unused to canvas I rise
The sun above and the ashes cold
Did I dream it?
Catch the train
Back to the city, back to reality
My shoulder your pillow

The memory lingers, it did not die with the dawn
That false dawn which stole the mystery
Better the sun did not rise
And we remain beside the fire
Forever feeding the flames
And laughing beneath the trees

Primary Colours

Facebook is an interesting beast. It has some very obvious and irritating downsides, but I think these are easily outweighed by its overwhelming ability to connect people.

Sometimes I go a week without updating or even checking the site, other times I log in and something just makes me smile, perhaps a friend who I haven't spoken to in years or just a link to a far more interesting video or webpage. It's moments like that when I'm prepared to wade through the limitless applications and people I don't want to speak to...this week there was one of those moments.

No, not the rapidly spreading hordes of 25 things you didn't know... notes, though that may yet be the topic for a later blog. This was something a little more personal

You have probably noticed that there is a photo attached to this post...this is your cue to look at it...

...finished looking?

Did you spot me?

I'm not wearing a hat so I appreciate that this may be difficult...keep looking...

...yes yes this is complicated by the fact that I look quite a bit like one of the other guys...

...success?? If so - have a cookie...

...I'll give you a clue, I'm not one of the two on the far right...

..Still looking? Ok. I'm third in from the left. The young lad perched highest on the wall (aged about eleven)

So Dave (I hear you say) why are you so stoked up about an old picture? Well, mostly because this brings back a whole load of happy memories. As far as I can tell this picture was taken on my very last day at primary school. Those seven people were my entire school year and, as is no doubt common, I have happy, golden almost, memories of my school days.

The strange thing is that I'm not even sure that it was as wonderful as I remember, no doubt I was bullied, bored and unhappy some of the time, but all that is now long forgotten. In fact, I don't really want to remember everything...I'm quite happy with my selective memories.

At this point I was going to ramble on with a description of my classmates and so on, but I suspect you wouldn't be anywhere near as interested as I am. So let's leave it here. Brevity is next to godliness and all that.

Until next time, may you remember what you want to and forget what you don't